Unapologetically me
In the winter of 2009, my wife and I sat down for what became an all-night conversation that would reshape everything we believed about family, faith, and legacy. It started around 8 p.m. Sunday night—and ended at 7 a.m. Monday morning. Lucas, our youngest at the time, was just 9 months old, sleeping soundly while we wrestled with questions that kept us wide awake.
Were we doing the right thing by raising our kids around friends and family whose lifestyles didn’t align with our values? Would the church we just joined strengthen our children’s faith—or slowly compromise it? Could we protect our marriage from the patterns we saw in others?
That night didn’t give us perfect clarity—but it gave us something stronger: conviction. And from that moment on, we decided to live boldly, without apology—for our marriage, for our kids, and for the legacy we were building.
This blog is for every parent and couple who’s ever felt pressure to explain, defend, or water down their calling. It’s time we talk about what it means to live unapologetically.
The decision came in the summer of 2010, leaving behind our families, friends, and our parents to venture into a new beginning.
Culture Will Always Have Something to Say
In an age of digital noise and constant opinions, families often feel pressured to conform to meet the expectations of friends, relatives, or the online crowd. But public opinion, when entertained too long, begins to reshape values, dull convictions, and influence decisions. Romans 12:2 reminds us not to conform to the patterns of this world, but to be transformed by renewing our minds through God’s Word. Psychologists call this “conformity bias”—the tendency to align with those around us to avoid standing out (Asch, 1951). But families that thrive don't move with the crowd; they move with conviction, choosing clarity over popularity and peace over approval.
We experienced this when a close friend suggested we “let our daughters explore life.” That comment, overheard by others, made us the target of criticism. Some saw us as too strict, as obstacles to freedom. But in reality, we were standing guard over what mattered most. We believe free will without accountability is not love—it’s abandonment. Proverbs 29:25 warns that the fear of man is a trap, but trusting in the Lord brings safety. We’re not called to parent by popular opinion, but by divine commission. And that means standing firm, even when it makes others uncomfortable.
Your Marriage Isn’t Meant to Blend In
Choosing to protect your marriage and family boundaries often comes with misunderstandings. We’ve had to turn down invitations—not because we think we’re better than others, but because we’re intentional about guarding what God has given us. Time, attention, and connection in marriage don’t just happen—they’re cultivated. Some social environments subtly shift your priorities or open doors to distractions. We’ve learned that saying "no" to outside demands often means saying "yes" to each other. And that’s a trade we’re willing to make, every time.
As a husband, it’s not my role to overburden or dominate, but to gently remind us both of our responsibilities through God’s Word. The foundation of our marriage isn't built on trends or expectations—it’s anchored in biblical truth. Ephesians 5:21 reminds us to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, and that mutual honor becomes our compass. Living unapologetically in marriage means loving deeply, leading selflessly, and not letting cultural norms determine what covenant looks like. It’s not about isolation—it’s about intentional preservation.
Parenting Is Leadership, Not Popularity
In our home, decisions are not up for a vote—they're grounded in conviction, prayer, and biblical order. Both Josie and I come from very different upbringings. One was raised in an environment centered on biblical honor and structured discipline. The other experienced the consequences of miscommunication, separation, and a lack of spiritual covering in the home. Those backgrounds gave us perspective and resolve. Now, as parents, we’ve agreed on one essential rule: we don’t parent by default—we parent by design. There is no room for error in laying the foundation of a godly home.
We’ve established ground rules that honor God first, protect the integrity of our marriage, and prioritize our children’s growth in truth. Upholding “honor” isn’t just a value—it’s a lifestyle. In a traditional biblical household, honor is the structure that allows freedom to flourish in the right direction. Ephesians 6:1–4 calls both children and parents to operate within a framework of respect and instruction, not control or chaos. Our children have freedom, but it’s guided. Our conversations are open, but they never become arguments. We’re not here to win debates—we’re here to identify reasons and root everything back in the Word.
Living unapologetically means rejecting the idea that every voice in the home carries equal weight on spiritual decisions. As parents, we carry the responsibility to lead, not to be liked. That may sound counter-cultural, but Proverbs 22:6 reminds us: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Training involves discipline, not suggestion. Love, not leniency. And a deep, constant reliance on God, not on trends or parenting blogs. This is our assignment—and we embrace it with joy and clarity
What You Normalize Will Be Their Foundation
The hardest part of parenting isn't teaching with words—it’s living with consistency. Children learn far more by what they observe than what they’re told. Josie constantly reminded both my father and me of this truth—not to shame us, but to center us. She’d often say, “The kids are always watching,” especially when our actions didn’t align with our intentions. Whether it was the music we played, the tone we used when speaking, or the way we responded to stress—everything preached a message to our children. And Josie, coming from a home where structure was missing, wasn’t going to let that cycle continue. She became the quiet accountability we all needed.
That’s what it means to live intentionally and unapologetically: you don’t just react to life—you lead it. As parents, we began filtering decisions not through our comfort, but through the legacy we hoped to leave. What do we want our children to remember about our home? That it was godly, peaceful, and full of purpose—or that it was passive, scattered, and inconsistent? Deuteronomy 6:6–7 gives us a clear command: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit, walk, lie down, and get up.” Legacy is built in the in-between moments—the unspoken routines and unseen behaviors.
We’ve learned that legacy isn’t something you write down in a will—it’s something you live out in front of your children. The habits you model become the habits they carry. The truth you stand on becomes the foundation they’ll either build with or have to rebuild. And the sooner we as parents realize that, the sooner we begin to shape not just our children’s character, but their future. Living unapologetically means we’re not living for comfort today—we’re building for fruit tomorrow.
Let Conviction Lead, Not Comparison
Sometimes we think our faith journey is a private matter, but God often uses our process to minister to others—especially when we least expect it. I remember a conversation I had with a co-worker during one of the most challenging seasons of my life. I testified to how I was depending on Elohim through it all. Even when the process became heavy, I held fast to the promise He gave me: “I will prosper you and open doors closed by man.” I shared openly about leading my family according to God's Word—not based on the expectations of others, even those closest to us. What I stressed in those talks was this: the process always looks different depending on your calling and spiritual growth.
A year later, I found out he had been let go from the company. Time passed, and I ran into him unexpectedly at a supermarket. What he shared stunned me. He remembered our conversations—not the surface-level stuff, but the conviction in how I led my home in faith despite hardship. He said it gave him hope. After losing his job, he realized he’d been living on borrowed expectations and needed to surrender fully to God’s direction. “Your words stayed with me,” he told me, “because they weren’t about what you had—they were about Who you trusted.” That moment reminded me: the weight we carry in obedience isn’t wasted—it’s watched.
Revelation 12:11 says they overcame by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. Your testimony isn’t a side note—it’s a tool. When you live unapologetically in faith, you become a mirror to others who are wrestling silently with compromise. God often uses your endurance to show someone else what’s possible when you stay faithful. Our lives, when submitted to Christ, preach louder than we realize. So never underestimate how your obedience today may unlock someone else’s breakthrough tomorrow..
What Our Children Will Become
Raising our kids has never been easy—and even now, as grandparents, the challenges haven’t disappeared. If anything, they’ve deepened. Every choice we make, every conversation we have, every boundary we draw—they all shape the foundation our family will walk on tomorrow. What we’ve shared here isn’t just a blog—it’s a toolbox. These truths and lessons have helped us grow stronger in our marriage and more intentional as parents. They’ve kept us focused when culture tried to blur the lines.
You weren’t meant to fit in—you were meant to stand firm. As parents, as couples, as leaders of your homes, you have a responsibility to set the tone. The world may call you outdated. Some friends might think you’re “too strict” or “too radical.” But what’s radical today might be the very thing that saves your family tomorrow. Living unapologetically doesn’t mean being arrogant or combative—it means being anchored. Anchored in truth. Anchored in purpose. Anchored in the legacy you want your children and grandchildren to inherit.
So walk boldly. Choose values over validation. Lead your home like it matters—because it does. And most of all, love without fear. Love your spouse out loud. Love your children with both truth and grace. And above all, love God in such a way that your home becomes a light that cannot be hidden. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about what people think of us—it’s about what our children will become because of us.
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