Embracing Autism as a Family
He was an energetic 7-year-old who loved football, pizza, and his Hot Wheels collection. At the time, his favorite toy was a pop-cap orange revolver, and he loved playing westerns. Transitioning from public school to homeschooling was challenging. We received increasing concerns about his academics, yet no efforts were made to determine the root cause. After his younger sister was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), we decided to seek the support needed for Lucas's challenges.
Our efforts to understand his needs faced criticism, making the process even more time-consuming. But we needed to learn—to educate ourselves about this world we were entering—and to find the right psychological support for our child facing autism, not only at home but also in church and around family.
Understanding Autism
Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurological and developmental condition that affects communication, behavior, and social interaction. It is called a "spectrum" disorder because its severity and symptoms vary widely. Common characteristics include difficulty with social cues, repetitive behaviors, intense focus on specific interests, and sensory sensitivities. While the exact cause is unknown, autism is believed to result from a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Early intervention, therapies, and support can help individuals with autism develop skills and improve their quality of life.
To bridge the understanding of autism with practical lifestyle adjustments, it's essential to recognize the role that environmental factors, including diet, can play in managing symptoms. While therapies and interventions remain crucial, many parents have explored nutritional changes to support their children's well-being. This journey led us to reevaluate the foods we consume and their potential effects on cognitive and behavioral development.
Our Process for a Solution
As the medical community continues to explore solutions, we began researching the food consumption trends among children nationwide. We grew up unaware of the impact of our diet—the food colorings, additives, and preservatives—on child development and its potential links to autism.
Let’s admit it: we live in a time of constant movement. Breakfast has become the primary family meal, replacing dinner as the time for gathering. Unfortunately, rustration began to build as we struggled to establish proper habits and maintain a sustainable plan to keep our children healthy.
We eliminated fast food and developed proper meals without artificial sweeteners, dyes, gluten, dairy, corn, and soy. Recent studies suggest that diet may play a role in autism symptom management. Research published in the journal Nutrients (2020) indicates that eliminating artificial additives, gluten, and dairy can improve gastrointestinal and behavioral symptoms in some autistic children. Additionally, a 2018 study in Frontiers in Psychiatry found that omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin supplementation may positively impact cognitive function and reduce hyperactivity. While more research is needed, many parents report improvements in their child's focus and mood through dietary changes. Our family and friends needed to be educated, as many were unaware of how certain foods might impact a child's development.
Embracing the Diagnosis
Many parents avoid acknowledging their child's autism due to fear, denial, or misconceptions. Our journey was no different. Five of our children have autism, and each child experiences it differently. Some worry about societal stigma, while others struggle with guilt, feeling they did something wrong. Others may hope their child will "grow out of it" or fear that a diagnosis will limit their child's opportunities.
However, early recognition and support can greatly improve a child's development and well-being. We don't hide the word "autism"—we embrace it!
In our situation, the introduction of speech and occupational therapy by the Children's Hospital of The King's Daughters (CHKD) in Hampton Roads became our source of encouragement. Our children have enjoyed and achieved their goals through these therapies. However, it is bittersweet when their sessions end. Nonetheless, the milestone accomplishments of each therapist continue to motivate our kids. Organizations like CHKD that assist in educating parents, families, and communities are invaluable.
Engaging Our Children in Meaningful Activities
We encourage our children through open and supportive conversations, highlighting their strengths and individuality. We use affirming language and active listening to foster a positive environment. Instead of dismissing frustrations, we validate their feelings by saying, "I see that you're upset. Can you help me understand what’s wrong?" Visual aids and social stories, such as role-playing different social situations or using picture cards to express emotions, also help.
Encouraging autonomy with structured choices, like asking, "Do you want to start with math or reading today?" helps build confidence. These simple, intentional practices foster better communication and emotional growth. We acknowledge the challenges but emphasize that they do not define our children's future.
Here are some of the activities that have helped our children regulate emotions, develop social skills, and express themselves:
Music: Many autistic children respond well to rhythm and melody, which can aid in language development and social interaction. Music therapy can also enhance motor skills, encourage self-expression, and create a calming sensory experience.
Culinary Activities: These provide a structured, hands-on way to develop motor skills, encourage sensory exploration, and build independence. Cooking helps with sequencing, following instructions, and problem-solving. It's also a therapeutic and creative outlet.
Coding for Kids: Coding encourages logical thinking, pattern recognition, and problem-solving in a structured, predictable environment. Many autistic children thrive in coding because it allows them to focus on details, work at their own pace, and express creativity nonverbally.
The Power of Community and Education
Being educated and trained through available resources helps parents navigate autism effectively. Attending occupational and speech therapy sessions provided us with insights into sensory needs, communication strategies, and behavioral approaches. Continuous learning opportunities allow parents to stay informed about therapies and techniques.
Community engagement—especially within faith communities—and advocacy play a significant role in supporting parents and children. Homeschooling became the best option for us because it allowed us to tailor lessons to match our child's learning style, strengths, and pace, ensuring concepts are fully grasped before proceeding. This flexibility is especially beneficial for autistic children, who may need extra time to process information or alternative teaching methods that cater to their sensory and cognitive needs.
Additionally, numerous community programs offer hands-on assistance to families navigating autism. Organizations like The Autism Society and local YMCAs provide social skills groups, sensory-friendly activities, and respite care services for parents. Programs such as Special Olympics offer children with autism an opportunity to build confidence and teamwork through sports, while local libraries often host sensory-friendly story hours. These resources create an inclusive environment where children can engage in structured activities while parents connect with others facing similar challenges.
Self-Care and the Strength of Parenthood
Raising a child with autism is a journey filled with challenges, learning, and growth. It requires resilience, patience, and an unwavering commitment to supporting our children’s unique needs. But as parents, we must also recognize the importance of caring for ourselves. Engaging in hobbies and personal interests helps prevent burnout, allowing us to stay balanced and refreshed. Building strong relationships with a spouse, family, and friends provides additional emotional support, reinforcing that we are not alone.
By ensuring we receive emotional, educational, and practical support, we can better care for our children while maintaining our health and happiness. Seeking knowledge, building a community, and prioritizing self-care are essential steps in this journey. Every child’s path is different, but with love, patience, and the right resources, they can reach their full potential.
Photo by Polina
